Devastated by the Germans ... and I'm not talking about Poland

So, how many of you here have ever seen Arrested Development? Ok, about half. And how many of you think it's the funniest show ever and would consider backing a petition to make the model home a UNSESCO World Hertiage Site? Ok, everybody who has seen it but one. And what is your name, sir? Dullston McFunsponge, oh, now it all makes sense. And how many of you watched at least one episode on Hulu before going to bed the entire last month of College? Just me? Wow, how embarassing.

Anywho, Arrested Development is possibly the most beautiful television show ever created after Planet Earth. I've seen the episodes way too many times and continue to be amazed at how many new things I pick up on each time I watch it. Thus, one can imagine my giddiness upon finding it playing on Comedy Central Germany one night, dubbed in German of course. Aside: you pick up on so much more visually when you don't understand the words that are being spoken.

The episode that was playing just so happened to be the Springbreak episode featuring "Girls With Low Self-Esteem". If you haven't seen this episode, or the show at all, you may stop reading this post. Those who have will recall that Tobias pulls down Zack Braff's pants to see how he likes being exploited, only to find out that he is wearing cut-offs underneath. "You're a nevernude!/(?)" To-bias exclaims. Devotees may see where this is going. It turns out that the show actually features a reference to Germany and the German language. You may recall that in Season One, Tobias argues for the legitimacy of the never-nude disorder by claiming that three members of the German parliament have what they call "neingestandingnude."

As soon as I realized which episode it was, I grew almost unbearably excited. To hear the German Tobias utter the word at the end of the episode! It would be perfect, I would burst out laughing and I could tell my brother and every cute girl I met who liked Arrested Development about how I heard "neingestandingnude" in the German dubbing of the show. So I waited. I listened for nothing except the sound of "never-nude" in the German tongue. The volume was all the way up; I'm sure my neighbors were on valium or something or they surely would have knocked on my door and told me in angry Czech to turn it the hell down.

But it never came.

Nothing even close.

Just ... jabber, the words during that segment as meaningless as I then felt life to be. How could they not use "neingestandingnude"!!!!!!!!! I know, the word is not really German, but don't you think the Germans might get that joke and be able to understand the word's meaning? I guess maybe not, the Germans are notorious for taking things way to seriously, stick around for my list of German jokes, courtesy of Jeff Wagner. The simplest explanation is that the translator never actually saw the previous episode with the reference, his job was just to take the English and turn it into German. I suppose it would only be funny to someone who has seen the original show and then was watching it in German for some reason.

Oh well, I suppose this story is almost as good to tell, hope it made sense.

German jokes:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in the
hospital.

A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drinking problem is destroying his family.

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly
low self-esteem.

Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men
coming in and out of your wife's house.'
The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her
drug habit.'

Why is there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell
pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.